i wish the world were ending tomorrow. i could arrive at your doorstep and say: come with me.

[poppycock]

( another week, another trip to mystic falls.

sometimes it feels as if he's at this boardinghouse more often now than he was years ago, plotting and scheming and crashing parties. perhaps he would not feel so bone-tired about these visits if they were planned and joyous occasions in which he visited his daughter. unfortunately that so rarely is the case lately.

it's moments like these in which he misses hayley. her steadfastness; her certainty; bloody hell, the firmness and tenderness of her empathy. she would know what to do, what to say. of course, if hayley were here, hope would not act up as much as she has this past year. angry and lost without a mother. angry and lost even with her father. because of him.

there is truly so much he has done wrong. there is too much he cannot possibly make up to her. he does not know where to start, how to start, and it feels sometimes as if it would make no difference to her.

the long talk with hope does little to comfort him, or her. the snide, judging remarks from alaric have him seeing red. he retreats to the abandoned library for some peace, some time to get his thoughts together. the wood of the balcony railing is worn around his palms where he stops; his knuckles whiten. a bit more pressure and it will splinter and break.

a part of him could use the bit of violence; another part recognizes the futility. )

Comments

[incontrovertible]

( they had their big goodbye. she got her tour and she even got a kiss. but that was that. that was supposed to be that. they are older and wiser and parents. that's all it was. they'd always have new orleans.

and then elijah, perpetual man of honor, flips the script.

she's ready to console hope, to keep her appointments with the school psychologist, to slowly bandage over all she's lost, to understand and to be there for her, and to address whatever rivalry is going on with her daughters...

but it's klaus who brings her back.

she doesn't address it. after a year, she still doesn't address it. whatever happens in new orleans, right? she has children and a school to run and a pseudo-ex who doesn't know she went to new orleans in the first place. so, she works. and she tries. and hope has still lost her mom and then her uncle. hope isn't better. her father never dealt with feelings particularly well and his daughter doesn't disappoint.

there's a fire, and that - well, it can't be the last straw because caroline and alaric have the patience of saints and she can't go burning real schools down.

what that does get hope is a call caroline hates making.

and not because of new orleans.

but, hayley was the one to get the call for her first fifteen years.

caroline's not used to klaus: the emergency contact, the one unable to parent. but, she sees the letters. know he's trying. she knows the talk had to have been hard. and it may not have gotten them anywhere. hope stymies caroline on a good day, but her daughters were also involved. she spoke to them herself. that relationship has never been easy. her daughters and hope coexist. they also don't know about new orleans. or mystic falls. or any of it.

and they're better off not knowing any of it.

she finds him in the library. the moon bathes him in a flattering light, illuminating his form and his tension. )

You know there are healthier coping methods, other than white-knuckling the railing I'll make you replace. Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to be alone? Again, with the caveat of not damaging school property.

[poppycock]

( he's not expecting caroline — not expecting her to find him, follow him, or speak to him. they've seen each other, of course: in the crowded hall, dropping hope off, months ago. the flicker of shock in her eyes and the soft curl of his lips a hello, again. whatever words they exchanged that day were fumbling, quick, and unfulfilling. for him, at least.

and yet her sudden presence, for the past year a quiet punctuation mark at the false end of his life, does not surprise him. like a period lengthening to a comma, this moment is inevitable. he leans back to take her in, familiar and regal and beautiful, looking for all the world like she's ready to comfort or argue with him. something's never change.

perhaps he could use a bit of both. he replies with weariness. ) What I could use is a barrel of whiskey and a way to control my daughter.

( only one of these wishes is possible. he swallows thickly, and adds on an undertone, ) She's lying to me. ( punishing him. punishing herself. ) Withholding. ( her stricken face, twisted with stubbornness. the forceful way she dismissed his questions, his attempts to soothe her for what he thought was a magical outburst of emotions she couldn't control. dad, it doesn't even matter! just let it go, okay?

his eyes lift to caroline's, and there's a bit of steel in them now, an instinct to protect. ) She didn't set that fire.

[incontrovertible]

( her eyes said more than she ever could when klaus brought hope back after everything. she's worn many titles since the twins were born. mother. reporter. headmaster salvatore. he drops hope off with a glance between them as caroline finishes up a tour with a prospective student. but, the real world beckons. a flash of a smile and caroline fields a question from one of her werewolf students. and then klaus is gone again.

almost face to face now, months later, and she still feels his eyes on her - even if he isn't facing her. she felt his presence when he'd arrived. the campus is different. whispers of hope's true parentage, of alaric's disapproval of his involvement altogether...

gone are the days of hope marshall-kenner.

whiskey, she can provide. she'd return to her office, dig out the good stuff, but that would require her from leaving him alone. and he doesn't tell her to leave him alone.

caroline felt the same way about her girls. josie couldn't come up with a reason for hope's outburst, and lizzie couched it in her being unable to regulate her feelings. she would know. but there is something all three girls aren't fessing up to, whether they were all involved, or whether it wasn't hope at all.

she settles beside him in time to meet his gaze. )

She is covering. For Lizzie or for Josie. Maybe a phantom fourth party. Alyssa Chang, maybe. ( she doesn't know. her context is her own, her school's, her world. she whispers the last part to herself under her sigh. ) I don't know why they're all lying or where this sudden loyalty came from, but I can't say I hate the idea of them -- bonding enough to stick up for one another.

( she is sorry for calling him down now. things are more complicated, not solved, and definitely not soothed. )

I wish I could tell you why.

( she looks down and away. )

A year ago controlling my daughters meant hem-lines and sticking it to the patriarchy. And the parties I let them sneak out to. And now, they're arm-in-arm covering for -- petty arson.

( she smiles. the proximity, hearing his voice, being able to commiserate in this case, and even to see him at all. )

I'm sorry. Teenagers never make it easy.

[poppycock]

( this is caroline's world. it's his daughter's world. a world all but foreign to him, filled with characters he hardly knows; pitfalls and dangers and gossips he does not comprehend. if hayley were here, would she be able to grasp the intricacies any better? would she understand any better — know how to navigate any better — why their daughter would retreat and isolate here, where he cannot reach?

well: he considers that may be the entire point. he is grossly unprepared, unsuited, and disempowered by the distance, in the many definitions of the word.

a flicker of anger burns at the hopelessness. he hates and does not hate all at once that these bonds caroline speaks of have driven a wedge between he and his daughter. he lets the feeling roll over his shoulders. he is comforted too, in knowing hope is not alone. in knowing caroline understands that hope did not set that fire.

in that she understands. ) I've spent most of her life protecting Hope from myself. ( from his enemies too, yes; but he is well-past laying his excuses for neglect there.

he straightens. his exhale is shaky. ) I suppose it's hardly surprising she's started taking it to heart.

[incontrovertible]

( if klaus ever confided in her, every really confided in her, she'd point out that hope is only doing what all teenager's do. at a certain point, distance is inevitable. they need to learn who they are on their own. hope's power and her legacy made this school a foregone conclusion. it's easy to forget he helped found this school for her and for kids like her.

caroline knows hope didn't - and wouldn't.

hope is in control. her daughters -- well, josie is sometimes painfully in control and lizzie tries to grasp and keep it. always a bit off-kilter. lizzie is caroline. josie is josette. it's hard to believe it happened like that, or even could, but that's a magically transferred pregnancy for you.

hope is everything her dad is and everything she isn't. and her mom. and her family. she recognizes a little of every Mikaelson inside her on any given day. but for the most part? she's all klaus. )

Hope is standing up. Wrongly. But, she believes in something. I can admire that. I'm sorry it means I have to punish them all -- Hope included.

( Because Hope is still lying. )

And you're here now. Distance changes. And there's all kind of distance. You're far, but not far from her heart. That, I can promise you.